Aim

Dreams are powerful things. I know my pastor just spoke on Elijah's dreams when he was under the Juniper tree (1 Kings 3). I literally just woke up from one, when I heard something AMAZING. 

Believe it or not, I was dreaming about a mission trip, but more specifically, I was with a man who God is working POWERFULLY through in Seattle, named Greg, he is my former youth pastor... and we were talking I think just about Jesus and ministry. Somewhere randomly this quote happened. I believe it to be from God. It's even custom-tailored in good ol' Kentucky dialect (I believe, maybe not. You be the judge of that.) If it is...or even if it isn't this is the truth: God speaks to us to where WE can understand Him, because of our personal walks with Him.  

Here's the quote. 

"It doesn't aim to be a good day. It doesn't aim to be a broken day. It doesn't aim to be a day at all." 

What on Earth does that mean?

Here's my take on it. How can you say it's going to be a good day or a bad day, when we don't even deserve a day? Our Earth is so corrupted and out of control without God in control it would fly apart, literally AIM for destruction. God guides this vessel called Earth and all His children, you and I, and shields and protects us. 

God is just orchestrating this... we spent some time at church last night on 2 Corinthians 1:1-11, and how God wants to comfort us (as one of the big take-home points). Don't ask me what the Greek word is for comfort, because while taking Greek I dropped it, the only class I've ever legitimately dropped mid-semester... but, I do know (because my pastor said it) comfort means literally "to come beside," to help shoulder a burden or walk beside us through everything going on in this thing called life. And Jesus does warn us yet comfort us all the same in John 16:33, "In this world you will have trouble, but take heart! I have overcome the world." That has become one of my favorite Scriptures recently especially in my Dawn After Ashes music thingy that, who knows the direction it's going since I'm sorta getting out of playing metal!!!

Final revelation for the night/morning/whatever. I've come to realize that one of the largest reasons I don't read the Bible like I should is because the sheer size of the book is HUGE, and there is SO MUCH TRUTH to be realized and received. It's a quantity thing, not quality, because I could use all of the God-quality truth in those 66 books... but the reality is, even if I had taken this entire break to read the Bible, I would have skimmed the surface. Even if we read each day like we SHOULD through an obedient lifestyle of worship, it will be a lifetime of revealing, God reveals to us as we need it, and God knows our needs. So I should be taking my daily bread every chance I get, and feasting on this bounty of knowledge before me. You should too. 

God is working, and moving in me. And I know it. But ten years from now, I know I will look back and say, I never even had a clue how gracious God really is. =) 

Amen.

We Don't Deserve

"Worship is a response to a relationship we don't deserve." Greetings everyone.

So I plan not to take too long to write this because, well, it's part of why I'm even beginning to write. I have to come clean on a few things. There's dawn at the end of these ashes, so please read all.

Well, the big thing. This winter break has been a waste.

Number of times in my Bible. Few.
Number of hours in prayer. Few.
Amount of time not only running from God, but running from myself, running from life, running from everything by sitting in my room for countless hours playing video games, looking up a ton of completely random and useless things... A lot.

Romans 7:14-25

This is a problem that is much bigger than myself, and a problem I need some serious help with discipline on.

Oh let's throw this in the mix, too, considering this is a vital part of 2012 for me.
Number of hours preparing for Acts 1:8... about 3 or 4. The plan is down, but not the actions. And I'm very, very good about doing that, get the plan down, the "I need to do that," then just walking off, probably getting back to my video games or something.

WHY THE INSANITY?

I need time, alone. And while I've spent a pretty good amount of time alone, I mean different. Away from everything, games, this computer, just everything. And that is something I will be asking a couple of people for STRICT ACCOUNTABILITY for. I NEED, NEED, NEED time with God. The times I have spent with Him this break, have been astounding. Isn't that insane? That just last night I can watch this worship band from Liberty University who was at my church, a complete surprise, and worship God in full surrender, then to come back and be just my lowly drone self (if that's even an expression); that, my friends, is compartmentalizing. That's living my life out for myself, and not for God. And I cringe as I type this but, hey, the brutal, cold truth has to get out before one can change. One has to know just how lowly and sinister, awful, wretched, terrible they are before they can reach out to God... to get to that point that Jesus got to, so lonely and cold that I'm moved to ask Father, Father, why have You forsaken me?

"But God demonstrates his own love for us in this: While we were still sinners, Christ died for us." Romans 5:8
"This is how we know what love is: Jesus Christ laid down his life for us." 1 John 3:16a

I have had a passage in my head for about the past 24 hours. I even dreamed about it. Pretty much... Romans 6 in its entirety. And I've already pulled some more Romans from the Holy Spirit, it has to be Him alone. And I praise His name because of that... that shows that my relationship with God HAS made SIGNIFICANT progress... that God has been working on me.

Here's the point.

I desire more than anything to give my total life, every piece of it, over to God, because I owe him everything. That same Liberty band showed a video with something if you know me, you know I love this stuff. A new definition of worship. That's two, one from Louie Giglio and one from this video. You've seen it already, get it in your mind and heart. I quote, "Worship is a response to a relationship we don't deserve."
And after sharing all that I have... I have to just get on my knees and thank God for all He has done for me. That, while I was still a sinner, Christ laid down His life for me. I feel as though because of that, I owe my life to God because Christ gave His. So elementary... I need elementary right now, I feel like.

I'll share that other quote, from Louie Giglio.
"Worship is the Church alive and in motion to take the Gospel of Jesus to the last and the least of these on planet Earth. That's the worship God desires."

See, that's so much more of a calling than just, give your life to Christ. That screams out Acts 1:8. That is a life totally devoted, totally sold out, dare I say, a life as a slave of righteousness. And not that we can be righteous, but through the love of Christ, we can be GOOD, PURE, HOLY. And not that we deserve even a spec of glory, because it all goes to Christ. But that's something I think I truly need to get through my skull. Well, maybe to my heart because, I feel like the knowledge is there. Now if we can get it deeper and deeper into my core.

That's what I don't know how to do.

I have support to raise for Acts 1:8 (if you want info, let me know.) I have a worship team/cluster to oversee. My heart is not ready for that. But I know and I've seen the power of God move. Here's the big disclaimer to this whole post. I STILL HAVE EIGHT DAYS AT HOME, TWO BEFORE SCHOOL STARTS. And, I have an entire semester to prepare. I have nothing to worry about, but just to take heart because Christ has overcome the world, John 16:33.

And, that's the truth. I know I cannot articulate it exactly as I could, but I pray that God speaks to you and to myself in the way we need to hear Him speak, so that we can be more in step with His will for our lives. That we can truly experience Him on a daily basis.

I think that'll do for now.

The Questions

So, I really want to write this book. I have a placeholder title that might be the final title. "The Obedient Lifestyle" and, I want to touch on spiritual discipline and how so very important it is. But I know... I'm not ready. And, I am wondering if that's even the direction I need to go right now? Ultimately, yes, we Christ-followers need spiritual discipline. I wonder if there's a level one, though?

And that's what I want this to be. I want to become the expert... but what I have to do, what I will require myself to do... is to fervently, pain-stakingly, explicit detail, hour upon hour of, every word, every letter... look into the Word of God for what the mouth of God says about spiritual discipline... about priorities. Also there are a few books already on discipline.

So I basically have two questions.
1) What do Christ-followers of today... no, let's scrap the "of today." Because God is the same yesterday, today, and tomorrow, and so should be the followers of Christ, with the only differences being their adaptation into the culture. With that in mind... What do Christ-followers need to hear from one who is placing emphasis on certain Scriptures and how to interpret them? Let's minimize theology... let's minimize any doctrines that divide the Body of Christ, and let's look at the practical, the personal, the applicable... the heart... of what Christ-followers need. What is it?
2) What do I need, more than anything, at any given time, that will help to increase faith, increase my love of God, my devotion to God, and to fill my Spirit with His love, joy, peace, patience, kindness, goodness, faithfulness, gentleness, and self-control? And how are my needs related to every other Christ-follower on this Earth?

If you'll be praying for me... things are going a little South... and they are preventable things. The biggest one... video games. I did not forsee that I would get THIS sucked into video games. But when I receive Gran Turismo 5, Infamous 2, Sonic Generations, and NCAA Football 2012, as well as have easily over 50 games from SNES to GameCube, and everything in between... you do the math. But hopefully, that can cease... now. Or at least, drastically decrease. And it has.

I also need to be more fervent on my preparations for Acts 1:8 Leadership Experience, otherwise I will be scrambling in May.

Something I've been thinking about. I also want to let you know I'm trying my best to follow the Passion 2012 sessions, and I purchased the online content "digital all-access" so I will have all the sermons and what-not. I'm very interested to hear from Christine Caine, who works with Equip & Empower Ministries... something I may want to look into for the future... I think tomorrow will be wonderful for a catch-up day. Hard to follow anything with a rambunctious almost-nine-year-old cousin at your house. She is gone though, so catch-up time indeed!

Until next time.

Dawn.

Hey, very, very short entry to tell you all, I am making a comeback soon.

I may stick with this, but I may start a new blog. Here's what's in store for Kevin for the year 2012.

-Hopefully helping to lead worship at a dream-come-true venue (more on that when more details surface)
-Graduating from WKU with Psychology/Religious Studies degree
-Acts 1:8 Leadership Experience Mission Trip to Richmond, KY and NYC.
-A BIG event where, again, I hope to help lead worship. And turn Bowling Green, KY up-side-down. =) Again, more on that later.
-Finally breaking the trend and actually getting a job, first time employment, and this will be a big boy's job hopefully.
-Finalizing my career. Music minister/worship leader? Psychologist/counselor? Both? Haha. We'll see.

Stay tuned.

~Kevin~