What About The Needs Here?

I was lying in bed, letting it storm, and continuing to read Radical by David Platt. I've been horribly slow about it, and even picked up another book from my youth pastor, AND reading yet another book we received earlier. And trying to work on a ministry, OVERLOAD. So... I need to finish Radical first.

I had to jump out of bed when I got to this part of Chapter 4.

It's a sentence I have said myself. I will quote what Platt has heard Christians say in his church about missions.

"God has given me a heart for the United States."

Platt goes on to call this a "smoke screen," and why? Because maybe we are not concerned about the needs of the people from the U.S.

People within the BCM have heard me say that very quote. Blasphemy! For shame. Now, I just got back from Australia, and had a wonderful time. This made me think, just how much I enjoyed Australia, BUT... it made me think of how much more I could have, should have done. How I went to the Internet Cafe and talked to the very nice Latin man behind the counter, and could have shared Christ with him, could have shared why I was there.

I obeyed the command to go... but, I was thinking.

I went to Australia... I really do have a heart for the U.S., and would like to reach out to Americans. BUT... here are a few... observations and self analyses.

1. If I don't gain experience both here and other countries, it will be for nothing. WKU is a great learning ground, but also a place where thousands need Christ.
2. Not caring about the needs... I truly don't. I'm too worried about how >>I<< can help bring someone to Christ. It isn't me at all, I don't do anything. It's all God. I am just supposed to love.
3. I lack passion. Wow. It's so true. I am highly disturbed because I lack the passion of the Gospel. I lack the drive to read my Bible, the drive to tell others. To put my analogy personally... I could watch a crazy NASCAR race, and ask people who I know watch what they thought, I could sit there and pull for someone to win, or someone to take Jimmie Johnson out of the race... and should the day come that Dale Jr. ever wins a race, I will probably pee my pants due to the excitement. Why, then, can I not get excited about God in a much stronger way?
(That reminds me, I would like to read Game Day and God by Eric Bain-Selbo (rels. studies head of WKU)because the idea of that is striking.
But why do I lack passion?

I am not even passionate about my own needs. I NEED to make daily devotion to God. I NEED to pray, I NEED to read the Bible, I NEED to reach out to the lost. And I NEED to work harder on my 180 coordinator position (some would disagree... but just ask God. He is truly all-knowing.)

How about this one? I'll say it...

I need to get baptized and join East Somerset Baptist Church.

Didn't know I wasn't baptized? My life is in many more shambles than you may think.

Christ redeemed me, and I truly believe that. I feel severely underdeveloped, however. Hebrews 6:1... is not happening, and if it is... not quick enough.

If I cannot take care of myself, if I cannot love myself the way I need to, how can I love others?

I just simply ask for your prayers.

I am not in shambles. I am actually happy, and not distraught. But... one must get to the root of the issue to solve the other little ones.

This is a plethora of knowledge and revelation.